The following is a poem I wrote in late December 2019 as I contemplated decades of bondage to addiction; powerless, struggling but never changing; telling myself the same false reality day after day.
At times I’m
Just a step away—
One bad choice, ya know?
Leave or stay?
It’s a long journey back
To what’s true.
Every year
I see what you took,
But the hook is
I played a part too.
My song, unsung,
Choked me,
Held me back;
Kept me there
Instead of here,
Year after year.
But your power
Is an illusion—
A trick to make me stay;
Pushing, pulling, shoving me
Into
A box.
Wherever I look, I
See black;
You attack hope and
I answer with affirmations
That fall to the floor.
No more,
Please!
Tired of my own voice,
Exhausted by endless choice,
After choice,
After choice,
Everything staying the same.
© 2019 Steven Barto
The Accidental Apologist 