“Hello, I Am Your Disease”

I hate meetings. I Hate higher powers. In fact, I hate anyone who has a program of recovery. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you suffering, and I wish you death. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. I am cunning, baffling. and powerful. That’s me. I have killed millions and I am pleased

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and your lover. I have given you comfort, haven’t I? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call on me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can’t feel anything at all; this is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long-term suffering. I’ve been there for you always.

When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. People don’t take me seriously; Fools! Without my help these things would not be possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me; so many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12-Step program; your program, your meeting, your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I may only exist. But I am here. And until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.